So Mattie, you haven't done your homework and you've skipped detention? Never mind, I'm sure you've got a good excuse!

ASSEMBLY

Did anything embarrassing ever happen to you during assembly?

During one assembly, a teacher was handing out awards and he suddenly said 'For effort in English, Matthew Woods!' and I had to go on stage and collect a certificate in front of everyone. Very embarrassing!

ENGLISH

Were you good at making up stories for not doing your homework?

I've always been a really good liar! The lie that always worked was just, 'I'm sorry, but I forgot my homework diary!' Sometimes, I'd get a bit carried away and say, 'I left my bag in a shop on the way home and now I've lost everything!' And the teachers'd end up feeling sorry for me!

BIOLOGY

Who taught you all about the birds and the bees?

I just found out for myself. Thank goodness my mum and dad didn't sit me down to have 'the talk'! I'd be like 'Mum, shut up! I don't wanna know!'

BREAK

Did you have a cartoon lunch box?

Yeah, my brother bought me a Rosie and Jim lunch box for Christmas when I was 15!

GEOGRAPHY

Did you go on any cool school trips?

No, I remember going to museums and being really bored. The only thing I looked forward to was going to the shop on the way out!

P.E.

Did you have to play football outside in the middle of winter?

Yes. I was rubbish at rugby, but football was OK. It was a laugh - apart from when it was really cold and someone kicked the ball at your bare thigh! I never refused to do PE. The only thing I wouldn't do was read my work out in class. I hated doing that.

What happened if you ever forgot your PE kit?

They had a box of smelly, old, lost property they'd make you swear. In little school, we had to do PE in our pants and vest - and I didn't even wear a vest!

DESIGN TECH

Did you ever make anything you were proud of?

Never! I made rubbish, like hand puppets, but they were dreadful 'cause I can't draw. Music was my art form - I was rubbish at anything else artistic.

DETENTION

Were you a regular in detention?

I was, but I didn't always go! Thing is, if you didn't turn up for detention, all you got was another one. But if you didn't turn up, three times in a row, you'd get well told off. I always managed to come up with some excuse though!

Were you ever sent out of the classroom for being cheeky?

Lots of times! I was ultra sarcastic to my teachers - not nasty, just cheeky. I corrected one of them once 'cause I knew that she was wrong. That didn't go down too well, I can tell you!