Are boy-band brat rockers Busted a terrible carbuncle on the arse of British pop or the rock'n'rolling real thing? Armed with a TV, a hammer and a trot, David Quantick and – Lordy – Motörhead's Lemmy takes them to task.

Busted - Britain's newest rock/pop faux-indie boy band – are doing a photo shoot for Q magazine. Singer and guitarist Charlie Simpson leaps into the air, skateboard under foot. Splash! Simpson has just turned 17, his hero is Dave Grohl and he attended posh public school Uppingham in the tiny county of Rutland.

Singer and guitarist Mattie Jay hits the water. Jay, 19, sports a asymmetric bleached fin, says 'Mate!' a lot, like someone from Men Behaving Badly, and is the most enthusiastic man in the world.

Splash! There goes James Bourne – singer and, yes, guitarist (all three of Busted sing, play the guitar and collaborate on songs: there is no drummer) – sinking to the bottom of the pool. Bourne is also 19. His first appearance on record was a part of 'Fagin's Gang' on the 1994 London Palladium cast recording of Oliver!, his favourite film is Back To The Future, and he likes Michael Jackson.

Busted's debut single, What I Go To School For, combines the lyrical cheek of Blink-182 or Sum 41 with a British twist (lusting after the science teacher, indeed) but without the hideous goat faced boys or wearing fart-gaggery of American frat rock. The result was instant success, entering charts at number 3.

Hated by a million sweating lads who demand authenticity, Busted are the sort of brilliant idea only pop can invent. Under threat from rock music, the industry's strategy was to absorb rock back into pop. And so, when music fans became so frustrated with boy bands that they reacted by putting rock bands in the charts – from the rubber matress warbling of Brit-indie to the pull-my-finger excesses of short-wearing US skate punks – the industry was stuck for an answer. Then Simpson, Jay and Bourne turned up at their record company office with a demo tape.

Still, all this has led to the purist dismissal of Busted as a sell-out group. A trio of over-preened, over-manufactured, and over-pampered public school boys who wouldn’t know the meaning of rock debauchery if it slouched up the them and thrust a rotting crow jar under their collective noses. With this in mind, Q has decided to take the boys to task on their ability to push morality to the limits with a series of rock tests inspired from some truly unpleasant antics made notorious by their elders. Let's see how they fare..

First of all: Q has decided to investigate how rock'n'roll Busted are in attitude. Sadly, they are more than happy to admit they are not rick, which is a worrying start. 'We're a pop group, we'd be lying if we if we said we weren't,' says Simpson cheerfully, but they are rock fans. Sitting around Simpson's flat as the band are re-styled after their pool shoot – a Monkees-style pad in a former psychiatric hospital, with ping pong and pool tables, a giant TV set tuned to MTV and pizzas all over the floor like doughy lily pads – the band's conservation is very rock.

Simpson and Jay gaze in awe at Dave Grohl on the TV as he drums for Queen Of The Stone Age and then sings Foo Fighters. 'That's brilliant,' says Jay, overwhelmed. 'Look at his drumming.' 'I admire him so much,' Simpson adds. 'He just has that freedom to do exactly what he wants.'
'I like Freddie Mercury,' says Bourne. 'He had an amazing voice.'

Jay finds a copy of today's paper. 'No way!' he shouts. 'No way! Britney's going to play a stripper in a movie!' Bourne and Jay get very excited about this for several minutes. Busted are somewhat keen on Spears, although when they wrote a song about her, they took out the slighting reference to her ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake out of 'respect' which isn't very rock.

Simpson enthuses about the new single by Hell Is For Heroes and gets a bit bored during videos by Idlewild and The Strokes. Less rock'n'roll, however, is an obviously confused Bourne, who watches a video of Weezer with The Muppets and asks Q, 'Are Weezer German?'

So, pretty rock in attitude, and now freshly styled and dressed in clean new rock T-shirts and trainers, Busted are driven to the next shoot. How rock are they, vis-à-vis pool crashes? Would they emulate The Who’s Keith Moon, who reputedly drove his Roller into a swimming pool?
'Yeah!' says Bourne.
'Mate! Absolutely,' agrees Jay.
Simpson is more cautious. 'If it was someone else's car,' he says.

Keith Moon was, of course, a drummer. Busted don't have a drummer. This surely constitutes a missed opportunity for rock mayhem. 'On the album we used drum pads, but when we tour we'll have a session drummer,' says Jay, losing billions of rock points at one deeply fell swoop.

Now, we have arrived at a severely East German looking hotel in West London. Inside, it is a lot nicer - all tasteful sofas and nice prints. Just the sort of place, in short, that deserves a good rock shafting. But first, Busted are going to drink a pint of p**s. 'Yeah,' says Bourne. 'Like Ozzy Osbourne!'

Busted are, impressively, quite on top with the latest rock story. 'He challenged some bloke to outdo him, didn't he?' says Bourne.
'It was a guy from Möltey Crüe,' confirms Simpson.

Bourne has a question, 'Was it the dove's head or the bat's head that he bit deliberately?” No one can remember, but it is clear that Ozzy is a legend to this band. The question still remains: will Busted drink their own urine?
'No way!' shouts Bourne.
'Mate!' says Jay, horrified 'No!'
'That's taking the p**s,' says Simpson, aware of his own pun.

Not very rock then. However, Busted are quite happy to fake drinking their own p**s, which Q's photographer has supplied in the form of an empty shampoo bottle and a flagon of apple juice. Bourne sprays wildly all over the hotel carpet like a frightened donkey as Jay attempts to catch his wazz in a pint glass. Then Simpson cautiously drinks it. The result is not so much rock'n'roll outrage as German porn video, but it's an impressive effort.

Less impressive, is an attempt to recreate the famous Led Zeppelin anecdote, concerning some groupies and fish. Not only is no one willing to play the groupie role, but Simpson has another problem.
'I can't stand fish,' he says, mortified. 'I really, really hate them. I don't even like being in the same room as one.' So Q's enormous trout is hidden in the mini bar fridge. The rest of the band are less icthyophobic.
'What, a whole fish?' enquires Jay fascinated. 'Wow!'

Now it's time to destroy things, will Busted go on tour and throw televisions out of the window?
'I've already done it,' says Simpson. 'When I was at school.'
This is very impressive. Even the Rolling Stones were well into their 20’s when they threw a T.V set out of the window!
'I was at my mates house, and he had this old telly in his room,' Simpson explains 'One day his parents were out, and we were bored, so we threw it out of the window.'

Simpson demonstrates his ease of T.V killing by taking a hammer to the set in the room. It implodes excitingly to shouts of delight from Bourne and Jay ('Mate!'). The band are equally delighted at the Led Zeppelin room-trashing story. According to legend, a hotel manager confessed to the band that he has always wanted to trash a room. Led Zeppelin manager Peter Grant, in a fit of generosity, peeled off $500 from his roll of bills and says, 'Here, mate, have one on us.'

Busted, being at the age when they are mostly asked to tidy their rooms, have never trashed one themselves. Given the opportunity, however, they set to with a vengeance. Jay even finds a condom, which he lays out for added authenticity (after the stylist has filled it with slightly too realistic 'gel'. Only rock/pop crossover boy bands have stylists to fill their condoms for them.)

The results are impressive. The hotel room is ruined. Apple juice runs across the floor like fruity blood. A TV lies smashed on the floor. In the mini bar fridge, a large trout lies hidden. Busted have proven that, even in their tender teenage years, they're a damn sight more rock'n'roll than some of our more sensitive, guitar-toting favourites.

Britney Spears, look out.