(in the Sun webchat)
Charlie: 'Shut up Matt, you weiner.'
Matt: 'At least I have a weiner, you cockmonkey!'
(talking about their dressing room)
James: 'Eh, nice room. Well this is Matt and Charlie's nice little love nest for the night.'
Matt: 'Why we got a double bed?' [James laughs] Man, I'm not sharing a bed with you again mate.'
Charlie: 'We are not sharing a bed.'
Matt: 'Waking up with him wrapped around me.. it's all going off mate, it's all going off.'
(talking about another dressing room)
Matt: 'I'd just like to say, have you seen the other guys dressing rooms? They're beautiful, and all we get is this shoody little thing in the middle of nowhere, you know, it's like being locked up in a prison cell here.'
Charlie: 'Yeah, we don't get lockers. We get cages.'
Matt: 'MONKEY TENTS!'
(talking about a performance)
James: 'Ahh that was wicked.'
Charlie: 'That was awesome.'
James: 'That was sooo good, that was unreal!'
Charlie: 'That was very loud!'
Matt: 'That was awesome.'
James: 'That was sooo good.'
(talking about if they were pigeons)
Charlie: Me and Matt would team up and do a double poo on Gareth Gates.
James: Yeah, and then when he'd cleaned himself up, I'd go and poo on him.
James: If we could get to number one with Crashed The Wedding, would you kiss Kelly Osbourne?
Charlie: Er, no. [James and Matt laugh] No way. No. She's ??
James: Yeah, I actually agree with you as well, I wouldn't do it either.
Charlie: I wouldn't do it.
James: No, I wouldn't do it.
Charlie: I WOULDN'T do it!
(talking about if women have three breasts, should men have two dicks)
Charlie: But where are the balls going to go?
James: In a little purse.
James: What was the last CD you bought? New Found Glory.
Matt: No you didn't, you got it FREE.
(about what came first, the chicken or the egg)
Matt: Surely you'd have to have two chickens to make an egg, otherwise you'd just have.. have a..
Charlie: But where would the chicken come from then?
James: It was put there by God.
Charlie: Let's play You Said No.
Matt: No.. we're gonna play the one that the woman asked us to play..
Charlie: I'm in control, I'll play whatever the fuck I wanna play!
(asked if Matt is a nice person)
Matt: I consider myself a nice person. Am I a nice person, Charlie?
Charlie: Yeah, you are.
Matt: Good, cause you're a wanker.
Charlie: I don't like this soup.
James: What is it?
Charlie: Potato and leek.
Matt: But you don't like leek.
Charlie: Yeah, I know.
(in Belfast, luckily only at the soundcheck)
Charlie: Hello Dublin!
James: Hello Spain!
Charlie: Hello Reigate!
[proceeds to play Californication by Red Hot Chili Peppers]
Charlie: I do have the best guitar.
James: Shame you don't know how to play it.
Matt: Yeah, and that you've got a small penis.
Charlie: Can I stagedive?
Fletch (manager): I don't think that's a very good idea. Even if you managed to clear the six-foot camera pit, you'd be torn limb from limb.
Charlie: How ABOUT.. how about I'm in a huge, see-through plastic ball? And I just.. roll off the stage.
Matt: The fans could throw you around!
James: Fill it with helium!
James: Which button is it? [for room service]
Matt: The big one that says 'Room Service'.
Charlie: [to Matt] You can't even fucking drive in England.
James: Yeah, he can't -
Fletch: Nor can you!
Matt: I dont know why James woke me up so stupidly early.
James: To play PING PONG. Because ping pong is more IMPORTANT!
(accepting Best Male Act at the Disney 2004 awards)
Matt: Pocahontas, you changed my life!
James: Pinnochio, you're the man, ARIEL, YOU ARE FIT!
Matt: [looks at James in disgust] She's half FISH.